Friday, February 24, 2012

Here Goes Nothing!

A few months ago I posted “Here Goes Nothing” along with a picture of my NYC marathon entrant bib on facebook.  It was the night before marathon (my first ever) and I’d been excited and obsessing about it for what seemed like forever.  I didn’t know how it would go - if I’d even finish, or just quit - but I had been itching to do it for so long and it was time to get after it. 
As I attempt to bang out these first few lines of “my blog” I’m having some of those same excitements and nerves.  I’ve been intrigued by this idea for a while (since my awesome friend Jen started sending me inspirational blog posts during my marathon training, really) and I don’t know if I will keep it up or quit in frustration, but it seems time to get after this, too. 

I’m sure I’ll tell you more about me, my running, and randomness in due time, but now, let me answer a few questions:

  • What’s the point of sending these random thoughts into cyber space?  Isn’t it like talking to a wall?  Well, yes it is.  But hey – my friends usually tell me, “You could talk to a brick wall,” so I might as well go for it, right? Maybe I’ll even hold myself accountable to training more meaningfully if I feel like I have my [imaginary] readers to answer to.  And if I’m really lucky, maybe some of you will even post some tips, motivation, and techniques that could help me to transform myself from a tortoise into another slow animal that’s slightly faster than a tortoise!
  • Why the “Trotting Tortoise”?  I run slow and get the “Runner’s Trots” a lot.  I suppose instead I could have gone with "The Sh*tty Runner," but I thought this might be more universally appropriate.  Yes, yes – we all know old Aesop’s “slow and steady” moral. Listen, I’m never going win the race - I just want to get a little faster – set a few PRs this year, possibly try to break a 2 hr ½ marathon at some point in the next year or two, and maybe, maaaaybe even (*pretty please?*) become a little more resistant to running induced tummy tantrums.  
  • Did you say “Runner’s Trots”?  Tantalizing!  Please, tell me more!  Okaaaay, if you insist.  I don’t have any specific disease – that the doctor’s can tell anyway (more on the questionableness of their input likely to come later), but rather IBS.  IBS is what they tell you they have when they’re tired of testing you for random shit (figuratively and, more-or-less, literally).  Attempting to run fast is already difficult for me, multiple pit-stop races are not doing my race times any favors, either.
Then again…maybe it’s not medical afterall.  Maybe I just can’t help myself from stopping at every bathroom I see!
  • Anything else I NEED to know before waiting in agony for your next post?  Why, yes!  Thanks for asking.  My dream job is to be Kelly Ripa’s co-host.  It has been for quite some time, but it wasn’t until recently, with Reg’s retirement, that I realized JUST HOW POSSIBLE it is for that to come true.  So, you know, if you have any way to hook a Tortoise up, DOOOOO IT!
Well, there you have it, my first post.  Hoorah, I’m up and going!  Speaking of which, what better way to seal off my first blog entry than getting up and going on a run?  Happy trails!



  1. YEAAAAYYYYY! I am so excited to keep reading and to hopefully inspire some good posts and workouts!

    Also, I don't know Regis too well, but I might have an in with Vanilla Ice - will that help?

  2. Blogging doesn't make you faster. After 4+ years of do it professionally, I'm definitely slower.